College, the universe, and nothing.

My take on your life after high-school is simple: if you’re ugly, choose a four-year entry course that mixes fun, booze and a minor background that prepares you for an eventual graduate program. If you’re just burning through time based on your looks, pick a cheap two year ‘degree’ in a community college whose loan checks are enough to cover your monthly car payment.

Choosing a different path will screw up your groove, Stella.

Allow me to cover my ass with a real life example. I was looking through FaceBook in the nude, as I usually do, and noticed that a rather attractive blonde whom I met in Sophomore swim class was attending the University of Nebraska undergrad economics program. Now I know that trophy wives power our economy like sugar fuels a room full of hyper second-graders, but I just can’t see Barbie McDollface sitting in a library researching macroeconomics, unless it was a brilliantly-planned scene in a million-dollar porno movie.

BRB.

I was half-way through researching how to further explain the above scenario when I got distracted by the second part of this article, which can be summed up as this ugly people provide services to pretty people in exchange for money; ergo know your place or the Earth will crumble.

One Response to “College, the universe, and nothing.”

Frugly Muffinface May 8, 2010 at 10:07 am

ARE YOU SAYING I’M UGLY? hi